CollegeGirlOnTheRun

132,   one little number, so small, this one little number, defined, created, destroyed, my entire life turned me from a ball of over flowing energy, in to something that had to fight, to move, to breathe, 132, it seemed like a blessing, but it was nothing more than a curse, a label,   it brings nothing but trouble, boredom is a daily state, nothing changes, 132,   sit down, be quite, you’re just hearing thing you’ll just have to deal with it 132 i thought it would be different, but i was wrong, more work,   more time, less energy 132 It was like a vacuum, the more I stayed, The less I had 132 My IQ has br

I don't think you're giving your professors enough credit.   And I think you’re giving them too much, Why you think they would let me do that, I got not idea, Them, they would think I would abuse it, Treat it like a free pass, It would never fly. I got no idea why you think other wise. My suggestion would be to notify your professors of your anxiety issues at the start of the semester.   So you want me to…what? Let the entire world know? Tell them my weakness so they can Exploit it, abuse it, Treat me like less, Or even worse, Pity me? Baby me? Act like I’m going to break any minute?  If you left discretely when you ne

I understand your frustration with your group, Oh, you understand. OK, Then you get that I was humiliated. That I was betrayed, ignored, Thrown away. Made to feel worthless, Replaceable. and they could've done better with communicating, In a class that I took, On communication, (Ironic that you were the one taught it) I was taught, That, Communication was At it’s basic level, some form of the imparting or interchange of thoughts, opinions, or information by speech, writing, or signs…funny how that never happened which they all fully admitted when apologizing Apologizing? That’s funny… I never got a sorry, A

I give up no strike that I Quit. this is not happening no matter what I do you-- that's just perfect lets blame it all on me then shall we? oh I need to calm down I'm over reacting? I'm not even raising my voice and I need to calm down of Course because you are so--- no I'm not being mean no this is not negotiable I am not being mean I can not handle stupid, oblivious,---- oh because I have learning issues I'm the one at fault? that makes perfect since, I just went up, and asked for them in the line at the super market did i? umm...Mr. God sir can I have an ADHD apple and some anger issue soaked berries? Right sit down, be quiet, don't

132,   one little number, so small, this one little number, defined, created, destroyed, my entire life turned me from a ball of over flowing energy, in to something that had to fight, to move, to breathe, 132, it seemed like a blessing, but it was nothing more than a curse, a label,   it brings nothing but trouble, boredom is a daily state, nothing changes, 132,   sit down, be quite, you’re just hearing thing you’ll just have to deal with it 132 i thought it would be different, but i was wrong, more work,   more time, less energy 132 It was like a vacuum, the more I stayed, The less I had 132 My IQ has br

I don't think you're giving your professors enough credit.   And I think you’re giving them too much, Why you think they would let me do that, I got not idea, Them, they would think I would abuse it, Treat it like a free pass, It would never fly. I got no idea why you think other wise. My suggestion would be to notify your professors of your anxiety issues at the start of the semester.   So you want me to…what? Let the entire world know? Tell them my weakness so they can Exploit it, abuse it, Treat me like less, Or even worse, Pity me? Baby me? Act like I’m going to break any minute?  If you left discretely when you ne

I understand your frustration with your group, Oh, you understand. OK, Then you get that I was humiliated. That I was betrayed, ignored, Thrown away. Made to feel worthless, Replaceable. and they could've done better with communicating, In a class that I took, On communication, (Ironic that you were the one taught it) I was taught, That, Communication was At it’s basic level, some form of the imparting or interchange of thoughts, opinions, or information by speech, writing, or signs…funny how that never happened which they all fully admitted when apologizing Apologizing? That’s funny… I never got a sorry, A

You don’t get it, You really don’t get it, I mean How can you? Why would someone choose An online class over the classroom. Well me- but Did you ever stop to wonder why? Ever stop to think and try to understand? I doubt it, because you don’t understand. Do you know the first though that goes through my head Every Thrice Damned Morning? Didn’t think so. Do you know what it is like to hate people? To hate them with so much, that you have to force yourself To keep one foot in front of the other. To keep moving on, never stopping, not even daring to breathe for fear That you will break and pass over and through The abyss

You, Are a coward. You are nothing but a little boy, Playing in a man's world I know,   Everything, every excuse that you could use. “you clingy, needy. Your not quite what I wanted. There’s not emotional connection,” Or how about the one you used to dump me, I can’t handle this and school. Let me let you in on a secret, You didn’t want an emotional connection, You didn’t want me, but I know, Exactly What you wanted, A quick fuck, and easy lay, You wanted sex, I wanted more And,…I should have known To you, I was nothing. So to your bullshit, I ask, Why even start with me? What did i

What was I to you? Was I a thing, nothing more then a toy for you to take out of the closet when you desired? Was I real, did I matter? What did I do? Did I push to hard, or too much? Did I want what you could not give? What went wrong, am I even at fault? You lie, and tease. you built me up only to let me fall So I have to ask: what was I to you? Cause I sure a hell don't know.

In the darkness I can pretend, He asks what I want, and he is so good to me But instead of asking for what I want, I shoot of a smart arse remark, And inside I die, just a little. In the darkness I can believe, that for just a second ---I might tell him what I want, but When the time comes… Ashes fill my mouth, I panic and think, what will he think, And so… one more none truth fall onto the ever growing pile. It’s not a sin, and he’s eager for me to ask, So sweet and funny and caring, I can’t, even though I know, I know that no matter what I ask there will be no No judgment, No hate, Just acce

I can see myself, in my minds eye, dancing to the song on the radio, at work closing up for the night,     using the vacuum as a microphone, only to come back to myself just in time, right before i take that step of faith, i stop and think, i reign in my aura, and hide. i'm at school, in the office and-- i let go, just let them have it, and for one, glorious, perfect moment i'm free and i think that nothing can get better. even through my tears form from all the emotions- i'm free, . . . no, because them i hear that voice, and the voices of others telling me that i was wrong, and misguided, and dumb-- i had hear the judgment